Month: April 2016

Swipe right for love?

How Tinder has changed the dating game 

Catherine Paulse (20), a UCT student, had been single for a year, when her best friend dared her to download Tinder, if she didn’t meet a man in a week. In fact, Catherine’s friend, Jessica*, met her current boyfriend on Tinder.

Throughout the year that she used the app, Catherine experienced the good and bad that Tinder has to offer.

“I’ve never been into dating sites, but I thought that it would be a cool way to meet people and look at hot guys. I found the app to be fun more than anything else. I didn’t take it too seriously,” said Catherine.

Tinder is an easy-to-use online dating application (app) that was founded in 2012. It uses your phone’s global positioning system (GPS) to find other Tinder users in your area. They can see your profile, which includes six photos from Facebook, your name, age and any pages you’ve “liked” on Facebook. If they like you, they’ll swipe right, if not, they’ll swipe left. If both of you have swiped right, you’ll match and be able to message each other.

Tinder works on the basis of finding someone attractive at first glance and quickly deciding if you are interested, while bearing in mind that you are only allowed a certain amount of likes per day.

According to CNBC, an estimated 50 million people signed up to use the app last year, but Tinder will not disclose exact figures.   

According to Tinder’s website, the app is available in 196 countries – there are 1.4 billion swipes per day, 26 million matches per day, and more than ten billion total matches. On the website there is a page dedicated to Tinder success stories, for couples who met “the one” through the app.     

According to Fast Company magazine, Tinder has 9.6 million daily active users and connections on the app lead to 1.3 million dates per week.

On average users log onto Tinder 11 times a day, according to an article on The New York Times’ website. Women spend as much as 8.5 minutes swiping left and right during a single session, while men spend 7.2 minutes, which can add up to 90 minutes each day.

According to Wired magazine, “42 percent of people using Tinder are already in relationships—and many of them are men”. Furthermore, according to Global Web Index’s 2015 study, 30% of Tinder users are married.

Tinder has a reputation for being used to engage in casual sex, hook-up or have a one-night-stand, but a recent study done by Tinder found that 80% of users want more than a one-night-stand.

James Thompson* (22), a former Tinder-user, would go on and off Tinder for a few days and then delete the app, because he was not sure whether he wanted to be associated with the stigma of being on Tinder. This is also the reason he wanted to remain anonymous.  

Tinder president, co-founder and returning CEO Sean Rad suggested that Tinder is more of a “social discovery app” than a dating app to facilitate romantic connections.

During an interview with Fast Company magazine, Rad claimed that his vision for Tinder is much bigger than just a dating app. He has plans to build Tinder into a robust advertising vehicle and subscription service.

In March last year, Tinder released Tinder Plus, which comes at a cost (about R140 per month and almost R300 for over 30’s), but has more features. New features include the ability to change your location when you travel to connect with people around the world, unlimited likes and a rewind button for accidental swiping.  

Rad had no problem justifying the price of the app. “How much would you pay me to meet your [future] wife? Ten thousand dollars? Twenty thousand dollars? Some people would probably give me their entire net worth.”

On the website’s description, it says that Tinder “empowers users around the world to create new connections that otherwise might never have been possible. We build products that bring people together”.

Dr Wendy Walsh, an American psychologist who specialises in attachment and human mating strategies, said that “biology trumps psychology”, meaning that men focus on beauty first and foremost, which is what Tinder allows them to do.

Walsh, who is also known as America’s relationship expert, said that Tinder is based on male mating strategies, because of the way that it works, with photos and only a short biography.

According to Walsh, women are searching for “resources, intelligence and kindness, which can be harder to convey on Tinder”. Therefore, Walsh advised men to put as much thought into the backgrounds of their photos, as they do the actual picture of themselves.  

“Women are looking for status indicators. They don’t care about your abs, unless they only want a hook-up. They are looking to see where that lamp behind you is from,” said Walsh.

According to James,  he will not recommend the app to his female friends, because “guys just ask for sex or nude pictures, or even send nudes”.

James joined Tinder to meet new people and possibly go on a few dates. He has been on three.

On one date, he met a girl on campus in between lectures. “That fizzled out, because she wasn’t the same offline (face to face) as she was online. I worked that out very quickly.”

“It’s a common thing when you have a connection with someone on the phone, because you’re texting and have time to think about everything you say, but when you’re face to face, you don’t have that same luxury.”  

James said that his worst experience was meeting someone who did not look like their picture on Tinder.

James prefers Tinder to meeting people in real life. “I like that you’re meeting people you wouldn’t normally chat to and that they come from a different background or walk of life.”

Before Catherine started using Tinder, she never made an effort to meet new people. “If people came into my life randomly, then I thought that they were probably supposed to be there, instead of swiping across my phone screen to meet people.”

Although she would recommend Tinder to her friends, Catherine said that not all of her experiences on the app have been positive.

“A guy started harassing me on Tinder, he kept sending me ridiculous messages asking for nude pictures and if I would sleep with him, but I refused to respond. He persisted.” She unmatched him (blocked him) and wanted to delete the app.

However, before she deleted the app, she started messaging someone promising.

“We’ve been chatting for a month now, but we haven’t met in person. He’s a really nice guy, and we actually have mutual friends. I’m seeing where that could go.”

Catherine believes that Tinder and social media in general have completely changed the way her generation dates.

“I look at how my parents dated and how young people date today. Social media has created more drama in dating. I think that’s one of the main reasons that our relationships don’t last. It opens up these doors where cheating can occur and miscommunication happens. Our generation obsesses over social media through stalking our partners, or girls and guys that we think that they are hooking up with.

“Then I look at my parents and I really believe that the lack of social media meant that they didn’t have those sorts of problems, because they had to talk about their issues, rather than sending passive aggressive messages over WhatsApp.”  

*Names were changed to protect identity. Catherine did not mind.

Does appetite loss help your body to cope?

Why do people often lose their appetites when they are ill?

13 April 2016

Saarah Survé, Stellenbosch Department of Journalism

Stellenbosch – Winter is around the corner and with the seasons changing, more people tend to get sick. But why do people often lose their appetites when they are ill?

Dr Ferial Abdurahman, an obstetrician and gynaecologist at Wynberg Military Hospital, said that the reasons for appetite loss vary, depending on what kind of illness a person has.

“When you are sick your brain releases chemicals called cytokines and these decrease your appetite. Your body receives the message to conserve energy. Sometimes hormones can also play a role,” said Abdurahman.

“Most of the time when you are ill, your body wants to conserve energy to fight the infection, rather than use that energy to digest food. Your body fights the infection with an army of white blood cells (or fighting cells) that multiply and are sent to each organ and into your blood,” Abdurahman explained.

Dr Ramona Stewart, a retired general practitioner, agreed. “Losing your appetite when you are ill gives your body more time and energy to fight off the virus.”

Abdurahman explained how different illnesses cause appetite loss. “The flu affects the entire body, even if it can only be felt in the head and chest. If you have sinusitis or a cold then it is likely that you will have impaired smell and taste, which means that you may not want to eat your food, because you can’t smell it. Alternatively, if you have gastroenteritis (gastro), you lose your appetite because you feel so sick from vomiting and diarrhoea.”

Stewart recommended that sick people who lose their appetites should rest, keep themselves hydrated (drink water or electrolyte solutions) and eat foods like soup, smoothies and yoghurt only when hungry.

“Snack regularly on foods that don’t take a lot of effort to eat, and listen to your body. If you are suffering from severe dehydration, which can occur when you have gastro, and your body is not responding to your attempts to rehydrate orally, you may need intravenous fluids. Then you should visit your doctor.”

Stewart advised against eating sugary foods. “When someone we know is in the hospital, our first instinct is to take them chocolate or sweets, but glucose helps the bacteria to flourish. If you’re eating less, the bacteria won’t find glucose and iron to feed on.”

Abdurahman explained why many people are getting sick at the moment. “Our bodies find it very difficult to adapt because the seasons are changing. The body has to adapt to a cold temperature after being in a hot one.”

Stewart added that another factor is that people stay indoors when it is cold, making it easier for the virus to spread from one person to another.

“At the end of the day, it’s about the body’s resistance. If your immune system isn’t strong enough and your resistance is low, you are more susceptible to sickness. Our bodies need to absorb a balanced amount of vitamins and minerals from our food. The quality of the food you are eating is more important than the amount you are eating,” said Abdurahman.

Waterfall – a descriptive piece

Saarah Survé, Stellenbosch Department of Journalism

Nicholas has bags underneath his eyes even though he has just woken up. His unwashed hair and greying beard make him look older than he is. He stretches one muscular arm across the crinkled sheets and onto the empty space beside him. He frowns, confused, and then dismayed realises that it wasn’t a dream. He sits up, unable to go back to sleep. His mouth is parched.

He hears the window panes rattling and the neighbour’s ducks quacking. Brown dried up leaves crack in the wind. Longingly, he looks outside of the window, to another place and time.

Someone is watching a young boy clad in a navy sweater and knitted cap walk carefully through the rustling reeds.

A young girl, wearing a maroon rain jacket, guiltily turns her face downward, as her long, mousy hair blows into her eyes.

A different memory; in the sunshine Nicholas carries his daughter on his back. Her cheeks are flushed pink, and she smiles, her hair out of her pretty, pale face.

A new memory; her brother follows her and together they crunch over the autumn leaves. The wind howls, crickets chirp and somewhere far away chimes ring.

The three of them laugh together, as their father runs a small black lizard between his fingers.

The sun disappears and birds squawk as if they are warning the family of something to come. There is a feeling of unease in the air.

She sees her brother on top of a mossy-green rock, breaking twigs into smaller pieces. She decides to join him. Now it is only the two of them, surrounded by leafless trees, in an abandoned forest. The air is crisp.

Her brother collects small, silver fish. His pudgy fingers pull out each one’s slippery eyeball and then he knocks its head onto a tree trunk. This action causes a pool of blood to congeal on the bark. The smell is overpowering and forms a metal taste in his mouth. He scoops out any leftover goo, and wipes his finger onto the ground. He leaves a gaping hole in the fish’s head.

Their father seems to be consumed in another world as he sits on a rock, throwing bits of reed into the water.

With nobody, besides his sister, watching him the boy defiantly rolls up his jeans, pulls up his socks and ventures into the shallow waters. Balancing on some rocks, he reaches for another fish. Just when his fingers are about to touch the surface, he slips and plunges into the icy cold water, which is much deeper than he expected.

He screams for help as he is submerged, his arms flailing and his legs kicking underneath the water, but all that comes out is bubbles. The water burns his throat and he can’t breathe as it begins to fill his lungs.

His sister looks on paralysed, frozen to her spot. Her lips are blue from the cold and she’s lost her pink glow. Now you can see that she has a little mole on the top of her lip, not noticeable at first glance.

Inspired by the short film, Waterfall, by Charcole. Watch the film here: 

https://vimeo.com/95198897

Majuba prim sees change in residence’s attitude

6 April 2016

Saarah Survé, Stellenbosch Department of Journalism

Stellenbosch University – Irene primaria, Lize-Mari Doubell, and Majuba primarius, Hein Stegmann, have collaborated to change male students’ perceptions of females, after degrading posters were placed around Majuba residence last week.

A first-year student on Majuba’s social committee put up degrading posters advertising a social event with the women’s residence, Irene. Doubell, head of the women empowerment task team, was notified and immediately cancelled the social.

“We had to think carefully about our next move,” said Doubell. “Reporting a residence to the university’s Equality Unit is the normal route that is taken when there is a case of discrimination, gender inequality or objectification, but we wanted to engage with Majuba.”

Doubell explained that Irene did not want to take disciplinary action, because behaviours would not have changed through disciplinary action alone. “All that Majuba would have to do is tick the boxes; apologise, appear before the committees and panels and be banned from a social event.”

“We decided to work with Majuba to combat rape culture and the objectification of women. For first-year students to think that it is okay to make degrading posters about women, speaks to a greater culture of what residences and men allow. Residences are normalising the objectification of women,” said Doubell.

Doubell said she told Majuba’s house committee members that Irene wanted to see tangible change take place in Majuba’s culture. “It’s about more than one poster; it’s about changing the culture of men’s residences on campus, and creating a positive impact.”

Stegmann said that Irene’s decision not to report them has been a massive blessing. “When you are reported, it feels like all you are trying to do is defend yourself. You start in a defensive mind-set. But as soon as someone is willing to work with you, you know that their intentions are good.”

Stegmann said it has been a whirlwind week for Majuba with many conversations, group discussions, education and progression.

“In my four years in Majuba, we have never had critical discussions about women empowerment and gender equality.

“First the guys said that maybe Irene was too sensitive, but then they started asking questions; how do we feel, is it offensive, and what is the problem,” said Stegmann.

“I saw them click. They realised they have to change. This situation has been a call for not only Majuba men to step up, but all men,” said Stegmann. “It is a dark cloud with a silver lining. It’s our image that is being made an example of, but in the long run, it’s for the good.”

The two residences had an optional rape culture talk on Tuesday night, with about 90 Majuba men out of 150 present. Doubell said it was evident that rape culture was a new concept for a lot of them.

“There was a lack of understanding, and it is clear that there is a gap in men’s education.”

However, Doubell said that the men were open to the idea. “They didn’t take a defensive stance. They are tackling the issue head-on, and I think that’s what will make a huge difference.”

Doubell said that there is still a lot of work to be done on both sides. They have asked Majuba to consider being the first men’s residence on campus to have a women empowerment portfolio on their house committee.

Next on their agenda is a meeting with the heads of all 44 residences and private student organisations.